Yes, For The Record, My Kids Do Fight

Lest you think all my children are perfect and that our house is calm and loving all the time, I thought I'd let you all in on a little secret.  My children do fight!  As you can see from the above picture, it happens quite frequently with the youngest two.  And then the picture below of my teenage kids fighting, well arguing in the background. I think the picture is so funny, mostly because it was just accidentally caught on camera.

I've noticed some things lately about children and squabbles.  When they are young, like between 1 and 3, the fights are usually physical.  Like fighting over a toy, hitting, biting, etc.  Then by the time they are 3 or so, they have learned some self-control and know better (if they have been disciplined properly : ) So, between 3 and 13, the fights become mostly verbal.  I actually think this is even worse.  It's not at all funny or entertaining anymore, but just really sad.  It hurts me to hear children, especially siblings, verbally abusing one another or just being mean and selfish.  We don't take this lightly at our house.  One thing I do, besides punishing, is to have the person who said something mean or unkind first apologize.  Then, I have them say something nice to the other person.  This has to be more then, "you're good at soccer."  It has to be something meaningful.  Usually they both end-up laughing and I feel better about something positive being said.  Anyway, I've noticed that with teenagers though the fighting changes.  It's rarely physical anymore, thank goodness, and usually not so verbal either.  It's more of a snubbing or just ignoring the other person or even trying to avoid each other.  I also notice with my teens that they begin debating more.  Sometimes it's serious and deep, like theological issues, but other times it's something silly that really doesn't warrant an argument at all, like why they went to have coffee with "so and so."  Well, this is something I try not to intervene too much with, but just pray for them and try to point out each of their good points. I also try to get them to do fun things together.  I guess this is something all moms do of older kids.  I know my mom tries to put my siblings and I together and always smooth over everything. So, I have all three fighting stages going on in my house.  I guess it's just human nature and something we all have to work through.  Thank goodness with have the Lord to help us : )